New Computer Virus List

OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS: Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands back to 200MB.
AT&T VIRUS: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.
MCI VIRUS: Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus.
PAUL REVERE VIRUS: This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It warns you of impending hard disk attack---once if by LAN, twice if by C:>.
POLITICALLY CORRECT VIRUS: Never calls itself a "virus", but instead refers to itself as an "electronic microorganism."
RIGHT TO LIFE VIRUS: Won't allow you to delete a file, regardless of how old it is. If you attempt to erase a file, it requires you to first see a counselor about possible alternatives.
ROSS PEROT VIRUS: Activates every component in your system, just before the whole darn thing quits.
MARIO CUOMO VIRUS: It would be a great virus, but it refuses to run.
TED TURNER VIRUS: Colorizes your monochrome monitor.
ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS: Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.
DAN QUAYLE VIRUS #2: Their is sumthing rong wit your komputer, ewe jsut cant figyour out watt!
GOVERNMENT ECONOMIST VIRUS: Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine.
NEW WORLD ORDER VIRUS: Probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people really mad just thinking about it.
FEDERAL BUREAUCRAT VIRUS: Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of your computer.
GALLUP VIRUS: Sixty percent of the PCs infected will lose 38 percent of their data 14 percent of the time. (plus or minus a 3.5 percent margin of error.)
TERRY RANDALL VIRUS: Prints "Oh no you don't" whenever you choose "Abort" from the "Abort" "Retry" "Fail" message.
TEXAS VIRUS: Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file.
ADAM AND EVE VIRUS: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.
CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS: The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.
AIRLINE VIRUS: You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.
FREUDIAN VIRUS: Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying its own motherboard.
PBS VIRUS: Your programs stop every few minutes to ask for money.
ELVIS VIRUS: Your computer gets fat, slow and lazy, then self destructs; only to resurface at shopping malls and service stations across rural America.
OLLIE NORTH VIRUS: Causes your printer to become a paper shredder.
NIKE VIRUS: Just does it.
SEARS VIRUS: Your data won't appear unless you buy new cables, power supply and a set of shocks.
JIMMY HOFFA VIRUS: Your programs can never be found again.
CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS #2: Runs every program on the hard drive simultaneously, but doesn't allow the user to accomplish anything.
KEVORKIAN VIRUS: Helps your computer shut down as an act of mercy.
IMELDA MARCOS VIRUS: Sings you a song (slightly off key) on boot up, then subtracts money from your Quicken account and spends it all on expensive shoes it purchases through Prodigy.
STAR TREK VIRUS: Invades your system in places where no virus has gone before.
HEALTH CARE VIRUS: Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong, and sends you a bill for $4,500.
GEORGE BUSH VIRUS: It starts by boldly stating, "Read my docs....No new files!" on the screen. It proceeds to fill up all the free space on your hard drive with new files, then blames it on the Congressional Virus.
CLEVELAND INDIANS VIRUS: Makes your 486/50 machine perform like a 286/AT.
LAPD VIRUS: It claims it feels threatened by the other files on your PC and erases them in "self defense".
CHICAGO CUBS VIRUS: Your PC makes frequent mistakes and comes in last in the reviews, but you still love it.
ORAL ROBERTS VIRUS: Claims that if you don't send it a million dollars, it's programmer will take it back>>

http://www.bsd.org

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Keeping the Worms Away. How to Minimize Virus Threats.

by Bobette Kyle

The battle against computer viruses and worms has gone on since the dawn of the virtual age. Over time, worms and viruses are evolving and the numbers are growing.

According to the Computer Knowledge Website "there were over 50,000 computer viruses in 2000 and that number was then and still is growing rapidly. Sophos, in a print ad in June 2005 claims 'over 103,000 viruses.'"

Technical experts and risk specialists understand that worm attacks and viruses are here to stay, to the extent that predicting and preempting attacks has become an industry. For example, McAffee publishes an ongoing virus information calendar where you can track expected future attacks by day or view virus/worm attack history. By methods such as this, McAffee and other security companies protect their customers by trying to stay a step ahead of new variants.
Worms can directly and adversely affect you in many ways.

No small business or individual email user is exempt from exposure to worm / virus attacks. As the number and variations of viruses grow, so does the risk to any email user.

There are several ways worms and viruses can adversely affect you. A few of these are:

1. Email worms can "spoof" your email address (put your address as the sender of infected emails), making it look like you are sending spam and viruses even though you are not.
2. They can infiltrate your systems, sending out infected emails from your computer.
3. The more malicious viruses can erase your hard drive or completely disable your computer systems.
4. Some may install software on your system (remote access trojans - RATs) that allows others to access, steal, and/or change your computer files.

If you are a list owner, this deluge of worms could tarnish your reputation with some people who do not understand spoofing. Since your email address is likely to be in a lot of email address books, your address will invariably show up as the "from" address in many infected emails.

This results in lost productivity as you sift through unwanted email, update protection systems, shore up security holes, and repair/head off other damage.

How Worm Viruses Work

As technology evolves, viruses evolve as well. At first, most viruses spread through email attachments. Now - with the proliferation of broadband "always on" connections, file downloads, instant messaging, Bluetooth-enabled mobile devices and other communications technologies - the ways worms and viruses spread have evolved as well. Still, email viruses cause the most overall problems. In December 2005, for example, the Sober-Z virus accounted for 79% of all viruses (as reported by Sophos).

In general, a worm virus is a program with the ability to spread itself through email. When the worm infects a machine, it spreads itself by sending infected email to addresses in the computer's email address book. The worm also uses one of the addresses as the "from" address, making it appear to recipients that the email came from someone else.

When a worm or virus that spreads through email infects a machine, it sends infected email to addresses in the computer's email address book. Many worms also use one of the addresses as the "from" address, making it appear to recipients that the email came from someone else.

Some worms also deposit a bit of code on your computer, presumably designed to carry out some future maliciousness.

It is all more complicated than this, of course, but I'll let the technical experts explain the nuances. Here are some recent articles about worm viruses:

Data Security Summary - January to June 2005, from F-Secure Corporation, explains all types of computer security risks, including viruses.

RATs: Remote Access Trojans and how to help avoid them from Microsoft.

Top ten viruses and hoaxes reported to Sophos in December 2005

What you can do.

Short of abandoning email and staying away from the Internet, we are all at some risk. We can, however, minimize risk by arming ourselves with (a) knowledge, (b) updated protection / security systems, and (c) communication. Also, of course, don't open unknown email attachments.

Knowledge

Sign up for email alerts through a trusted security company or monitor alert pages often. Also, make it a habit to read up on the most prevalent attacks. This way, you can recognize the signs of attack.

Here are links to three comprehensive virus/security sites:

F-Secure Security Information Center, includes information about viruses, hoaxes and other security risks.

Symantec Security Alert, sends email alerts of high-level threats, how to remove/detect viruses, etc. Also has a Security Response section on the site at http://securityresponse.symantec.com/ where you can read about current viruses and check your computer for vulnerabilities.

McAfee Security sends out alerts and breaking news. Also posts news and current threats on the site.

Updated Protection and Security Systems

In today's email and Internet environment, protection systems are no longer optional. Each computer with Internet/network/email access should have a good anti-virus and Internet security system installed and updated regularly (most have a feature that will automatically check for updates).

Some attacks exploit weaknesses in Microsoft software, so keep your Windows software up-to-date as well. Here is a link:

Microsoft's Windows Update center checks the software on your Windows computer then gives you a chance to download critical updates.

There are many firewall and anti-virus programs out there. Two popular choices are:

Norton Internet Security includes a firewall, virus protection, and other Internet security functions.

McAfee pcsecuritysuite protects your computer against viruses, hackers, and identity thieves.

Communication

Explain to others the importance of secure, protected systems and guide them to more information. If you are a writer or publisher, remind your readers to stay up-to-date and knowledgeable.

Virus and worm attacks are here to stay. That does not mean, however, that they must be detrimental to your business. Diligently follow these three steps and you will be prepared for the next wave of new viruses.

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How Computer Viruses Work

by Marshall Brain

Strange as it may sound, the computer virus is something of an Information Age marvel. On one hand, viruses show us how vulnerable we are a properly engineered virus can have a devastating effect, disrupting productivity and doing billions of dollars in damages. On the other hand, they show us how sophisticated and interconnected human beings have become.

For example, experts estimate that the Mydoom worm infected approximately a quarter million computers in a single day in January 2004. Back in March 1999, the Melissa virus was so powerful that it forced Microsoft and a number of other very large companies to completely turn off their e-mail systems until the virus could be contained. The ILOVEYOU virus in 2000 had a similarly devastating effect. In January 2007, a worm called Storm appeared by October, experts believed up to 50 million computers were infected. That's pretty impressive when you consider that many viruses are incredibly simple.

When you listen to the news, you hear about many different forms of electronic infection. The most common are:
Viruses

A virus is a small piece of software that piggybacks on real programs. For example, a virus might attach itself to a program such as a spreadsheet program. Each time the spreadsheet program runs, the virus runs, too, and it has the chance to reproduce (by attaching to other programs) or wreak havoc.

E-mail viruses

An e-mail virus travels as an attachment to e-mail messages, and usually replicates itself by automatically mailing itself to dozens of people in the victim's e-mail address book. Some e-mail viruses don't even require a double-click, they launch when you view the infected message in the preview pane of your e-mail software [source: Johnson].

Trojan horses

A Trojan horse is simply a computer program. The program claims to do one thing (it may claim to be a game) but instead does damage when you run it (it may erase your hard disk). Trojan horses have no way to replicate automatically.

Worms

A worm is a small piece of software that uses computer networks and security holes to replicate itself. A copy of the worm scans the network for another machine that has a specific security hole. It copies itself to the new machine using the security hole, and then starts replicating from there, as well.

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